Loss, you surround me.

I'm wrestling with the question of what to do with your life when loss enters it. It seems a bit insignificant to talk about the quest for publishing stardom when those close to you are in various states of disrepair of the soul. A friend's sister died. A friend's nephew died. A friend is sick. An in-law is sick. A brother escaped a dark fate - barely.

But how's the book doing!?

See? Not so important for the moment being.

My parents both died suddenly and though it was a shock, I was able to experience the grief in it's fresh state. Now I know the feeling of months passing by and of deterioration in the air. It's a prolonged state that leaves you caught between the world of the living and that of moving on. I comfort myself with the Einstein quote: “Energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another.” I'd like to think our souls - our battery pack - moves on to some other thing. Where and in what form, who knows?

But how do we live our lives in the midst of someone's imminent departure - their transference of energy? We keep leading our lives, but doing so with a bit less verve and intent. We're waiting for a conclusion that is months, even years in the making. It's a state of underlying limbo. Makes the promotion of a book, the viewing of a movie, the workout, the family dinner lack just a little bit of color. It's missing just a hint of energy. We can't help but start missing them though they are present.